desertion
fascinates me

Escapism via reality

i am addicted to gossip blogs.
i watch the hills and much to my chagrin got into this season's Real World.
i don't want to admit that i actually like these shows - because i don't.
they represent all that i have always rebelled against.

when i was a kid i would watch national geographic and nova with my parents. i was far too sensitive to watch the whole thing. i never wanted to see the animal that i was rooting for suffer. before the blood would spill, or the orphan cub succumbed to the harsh winter i would leave the room and fill my head with crap shows like Charle's in Charge and Small Wonder.

i think that the reality shows of today are the perfect hybrid of nova and crappy 80's sitcoms. watching fashionably attired characters (usually the non-threatening gazelle or zebra) narrowly avoid the wolves (boys, evils of hollywood, former friends) and overcome some lame issue (sex tape) via fashion and fabulousness seems to sooth my soul.

i should have bucked up and dealt with the realities of the animal world. i would much rather see Lauren and Heidi devoured by wolves.

this is what i want to give you love.
space to create

i was in a verbal altercation months ago at the bank.
some girl called me a jerk or stupid from her car - and i called her out.
told her that she was a dumb bitch and told her to shut the fuck up.
my adrenaline surged. i was not ready to fight, but i was ready to scare someone.

"I see all this potential; and I see it squandered. God dammit, an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We are the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised by television to believe that we’d be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars - but we won’t. "

fight club was on tv yesterday and it rekindled some feelings. i purposely tried to pare down my lifestyle - and not get caught up in the race.
thoughts are brewing and more blogs are coming...

Kinda hard to muster up "fire" sympathy as the places that are burning have always done so.
"For generations market driven urbanization has transgressed environmental common sense. Historic wildfire corridors have been turned into view-lot suburbs," - from Ecology of Fear by Mike Davis.

time vs inclination
time is taking inclinations bad rap...
people (myself included) often say that they haven't the time.
but really - truly they lack the inclination.