"The scientist has the habit of science, the artist, the habit of art. Art is the habit of the artist; and habits have to be rooted deep in the whole personality. The have to be cultivated like any other habit, over a long period of time by experience..."

Flannery O'Conner

unbeknownst to me - i do this thing when i cross people's paths. i smile.
that teeny tiny facial tick provokes more of them. seems so easy.

gotta love it

limitations

my best intentions can fill a football field.
i try to be the best for others - then look inside and crumble.
who can i be - and how can i be happy when i constantly strive to please?

"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg."
Unknown

coincidence? i think not.

my breakfast this morning consists of the following:

egg protein shake
whole wheat slice of toast with butter
rasberry leaf tea

There was only 1 brand of bread that didn't list high fructose corn syrup as an ingredient. Something I always assumed was safe - wields the deadly sugar weapon too. what is a girl to do.

i spent years mindful of my perceived worth. i did nothing to make myself attractive or available. i wore it like a cloak. it made me invisible and able to blend into the background. if they couldn't see me they couldn't judge me and most importantly they couldn't reject me. i defied them to love me despite of it.