i spent years mindful of my perceived worth. i did nothing to make myself attractive or available. i wore it like a cloak. it made me invisible and able to blend into the background. if they couldn't see me they couldn't judge me and most importantly they couldn't reject me. i defied them to love me despite of it.

while perusing myspace pics, the shit eating grin of age and image lept from my screen. if only their parents spent some time telling them they were special i wouldn't be subjected to doomed self serving grasps of independence via intercourse and photo shoots.


happy new year!


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"