i heart jonathan adler ceramics

i am all about nesting of late. 

as such i decided to put all the things i am coveting up.  

maybe a house warming party will bring the joy of possession.

mushroom heaven

click on
competing inner voices

to learn how competing inner voices can create harmony...

aah civil disobedience

kinda magical how things happen
how relationships evolve and how love can change
perspective, attitude changes and everything becomes possible.

blah
i never thought i would be the girl to write that!

She is the kind of girl that walks into a punk rock bar and plays "every little thing she does is magic" on the jukebox. Her boyfriend (mastering space invaders) gripes to his 2nd player, "No she did not just play this song." I am waiting for her second song with baited breath..... Don't Worry About a Thing" by Bob Marley.... Correction her bf is playing galaga.

Next song is Sublime - the band that is. she is shaking her body - she must be dancing.

If was younger I would loathe her and her mediocrity. Good thing I am too old to be so judgmental.

Let's be honest here - her job at smart and final prevents her from partaking in the occasional hit that her common law husband dallies in. So she dances to the pseudo riddims in an attempt to set herself free.

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cool site

"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." Mary Manin Morrissey

rest in peace my sweet little chicken

Is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?

i have a problem - and it is good music.
tv on the radio, peter murphy, and trent reznor
what more is an independent woman of the 90's to want.
shadow dance bitches!!!

sitting in front of the screen all day at work makes me want to sit in front of the screen all day at home. time to get up and out.

"The scientist has the habit of science, the artist, the habit of art. Art is the habit of the artist; and habits have to be rooted deep in the whole personality. The have to be cultivated like any other habit, over a long period of time by experience..."

Flannery O'Conner

unbeknownst to me - i do this thing when i cross people's paths. i smile.
that teeny tiny facial tick provokes more of them. seems so easy.

gotta love it

limitations

my best intentions can fill a football field.
i try to be the best for others - then look inside and crumble.
who can i be - and how can i be happy when i constantly strive to please?

"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg."
Unknown

coincidence? i think not.

my breakfast this morning consists of the following:

egg protein shake
whole wheat slice of toast with butter
rasberry leaf tea

There was only 1 brand of bread that didn't list high fructose corn syrup as an ingredient. Something I always assumed was safe - wields the deadly sugar weapon too. what is a girl to do.

i spent years mindful of my perceived worth. i did nothing to make myself attractive or available. i wore it like a cloak. it made me invisible and able to blend into the background. if they couldn't see me they couldn't judge me and most importantly they couldn't reject me. i defied them to love me despite of it.

while perusing myspace pics, the shit eating grin of age and image lept from my screen. if only their parents spent some time telling them they were special i wouldn't be subjected to doomed self serving grasps of independence via intercourse and photo shoots.


happy new year!


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"